10 Years Now

It's true. Time flies.

In a blink of an eye, a decade has already passed since the day R and I took our 'delivery bag' and checked into NUH as scheduled by Prof Anandakumar. I remember it was a Monday and Father had sent us there in his taxi.

This is a photo of Prof when he was younger which I got from the web by chance. A very funny joker. This photo actually doesn't do justice to him - he actually looks more handsome in person. But we'll just make do with it for this posting, lah.

Actually, I wasn't really so keen to go because somehow I had gotten used to carrying the 'extra' big tummy around. And I had also gotten used to the little 'pamperings' such as not being expected to do major housework or chores at home. In the office, colleagues had also regularly offered to buy lunch back for me. And when I took the MRT train, other passengers actually gave up their seats to me!

More importantly, I didn't want the then leisurely pace of everything to change. I didn't look forward to being in a rush all the time. I had read that once the baby was out, there would be no day or night - everything would be just endless cycles of nappy-changing, feeding, washing, more nappy-changing, more feeding and more washing etc. All in a hurry, with hardly any breathing space. Someone even told me that once the baby was out, our world would revolve around only the baby and nothing else. I wasn't sure if I wanted all that.

And yet, at the same time, I couldn't wait to hold the little one in my hands. It was fun feeling his kicks and 'boxing around' in the tummy, but I also wanted to feel the softness and smoothness of his tender baby skin. I imagined how he would smile to us as we massaged him and how he would chuckle as we tickled him. Hmm...

And so, it was with 'mixed feelings' that I strolled with R from the taxi drop-off at the old NUH block to its Admissions Office on Monday morning. At almost every turn of the corridor (NUH has many of these turns which made its corridors and lobbies rather confusing), I had to resist the temptation to just turn and go back home. I think if R had not been with me, I might have just done that.

When we finally arrived at the Admisssions Office, the very friendly Admissions staff checked the register and told us that the single room which we had asked for was not available. In fact, all single rooms and even all 2-bedders were occupied!

"So, we go home first, lah!" I said happily to R and got ready to move off. The shocked staff stopped us, of course, and told us that they would reserve for us the very first single-room available, explaining that its usual check-out time was 12 noon (just like hotel) and so they would know only later if a room becomes vacated. In the meantime, I had to contend with the C-class bed which they allocated to me 'temporarily'. Huh?!!!!

Anyway, as if to pacify the obviously-upset me, we were ushered to the delivery suite and we stayed there for a whole day. It was no joke, I spent the whole day waiting in the suite on an empty stomach! It was such a torture. Really, really terrible torture!

Father and Mother dropped by at about 8pm. Actually, no visitors were allowed in the delivery suite but Mother knew this particular amah who worked there. So she was 'secretly' ushered to my bed, hahaha! Mother, too, was surprised that there had been no action whatsoever. So after a while, she and Father left for home first.

Finally, by 9pm, everybody gave up and decided that I should just go and sleep before 'resuming' work (aka labour) next morning. By then, I was so famished that I think the staff nurse took pity on me. She helped to arrange for a set of dinner to be brought up to me even though it was way past dinner time.

And that was my first taste of hospital food. The food tasted quite good (maybe because I had been starved for the whole day!) but I didn't like the smell and feel of the cutlery. And eating from the tray didn't make me feel very good either.

Luckily, by then, a single room had been vacated and so we settled down in the big and airy room. The room was much bigger than this one in the picture. R bunked in, too, in this spacious room which was almost the size of our living room & dining room added together. The size of its attached bathroom & toilet was about half of our kitchen! Wow!

I slept well. I think R didn't because he had very bad blocked nose.

The next day, I was awoken at about 7am by the housekeeping staff. Aiyah, when I told them I wanted to sleep some more, they explained that the doctors would be expecting me back in the delivery suite (ha, again?!) by 9am. So, I took a quick shower and then was off to the delivery suite again. Sigh. I was not allowed to take any breakfast. Double sigh.

This time, the doctor checked and decided that there was sufficient progress to break the waterbag. And so, with that little prick, all the action started and there was no return so to speak.

I remember that the morning was quite easy. In fact, I almost didn't feel any pain which was almost always so dramatically portrayed in the movies. R was still taking it very easy and even bought a copy of newspapers and a copy of Readers Digest to enjoy.

By noon, however, the contractions had intensified and it started to feel rather uncomfortable. The nurses had urged R to go have lunch first, but R declined. By the time R wanted to go, I 'refused to let him go'. I just wanted someone with me.

And so, the waves of pain came and went. I was very brave, didn't scream at all though I frowned and squirmed a lot. At one point, I felt so chilly that R started to frantically ask for a blanket. I think I must have looked very swful then.

Then I became so exhausted that I actually fell asleep. The staff nurse actually 'praised' me and said it was good that I could rest by sleeping in between labour pains! Hahaha!!

Throughout the process, I bore with the intensifying pain and rejected the staff nurses' repeated suggestions for epidurals to be administered. "No, I don't want," I insisted. Even when Prof Ananada came, he told me not to try to 'act hero' but I told him straight that if my sister could do, so could I! Yah, I was really inspired by YP - she also didn't use epidural when delivering WS, I thought, so it should be achievable, mah! Anyway, I didn't want any of those notorious associated backaches or nausea side effects of epidural. 先苦后甘，我能忍！

There came a point, however, when I gave in and agreed sheepingly to someone's suggestion to have the epidural. So they hurriedly sent for the anaesthetist who after getting me to hastily sign the consent form (how to think properly whilst writhing in such agonising pain?!), started working on my back.

Ouch! Ouch!! Ouch!!! The anaesthetist tried very hard to insert the needle into the spinal chord cavity but somehow, failed to locate a suitable spot even after 3 tries! Of course I screamed and yelled! I think he also became scared. After a while, he paused and agreed that he should not make any further attempts. This Indian man doctor apologised profusely because he couldn't understand why he had not been able to locate the spot.

*sob* *sob* *sob* .... so, I endured all those poking in the back for nothing except to confirm that I should not go for epidural! Later the nurses told me that this anaesthetist was the most experienced and best they had, and he had never had such an encounter!

On hindsight, I am glad that I didn't go through with the epidural. Some colleagues suspect that the backaches which they seem to get more easily even years after their deliveries were because of their epidurals.

I think some higher divine powers must have decided that I should give the epidural a miss. I am convinced of this because even the detailed x-ray scans which Prof Ananda later sent me for, showed nothing abnormal; no curved spine whatever. No medical explanation for not having been able to administer the epidural.

Anyway, all the labour continued until the little one finally came out in a big, hot gush at the end of the 9-hour 'labour'..... phew!................

I remember that even without my glasses, I could see that Little WY has R's looks. He was very cute, all wrinkled and 'slimy'. And very 'red', too. Then, without warning, he suddenly let off a steady upright stream of urine at the nurse who had placed him in the warmer next to me! Hahaha!

After that, R went off with Little WY for his bath somewhere outside. Bearing in mind my colleague's earlier instructions (that he must at all times be with Little WY in case the nurses get Little WY mixed up with some other baby), R kept Little WY constantly within sight. Or so I think.

By the time they returned, I had already received a good wipe-down by a friendly and cheerful amah who kept congratulating me, telling me that Little WY was almost 4kg although he didn't look this heavy! Hahaha...

When they let me hold Little WY, it felt so good cuddling him. Totally indescribable.........................................

Father, Mother and CP came that evening. Then the following afternoon, YP and BK visited during their lunch break. I still remember that YP ended up having to clean up Little WY because he had passed some motion when she visited!

YP was expecting WP then. And whilst she was with us, my colleagues came. Later, they told me that when they first arrived at NUH, they saw YP on the corridor and had mistaken her for me. So they all had wondered amongst themselves why 'I' was up and about and 'still 100% pregnant'?! Hahahha....

AhYee and Uncle Frankie came, too, for a brief visit. They both carried Little WY. AhYee was so at ease carrying Little WY; I think that was probably because she had been babysitting children for some time.

Our 2-day stay in NUH that followed was not exactly enjoyable. Firstly, there was the physical discomfort. Then there was this night-shift staff nurse who was less than helpful when I asked for the bed-pan. She had insisted that I went to the toilet myself in the middle of the night because 'more than 6 hours had passed' since my delivery! Woah lao, man! I almost yelled at her!

Then there was the anxiety to try to start breastfeeding Little WY. As a first-time mother, I was naturally clumsy and fumbled a lot trying to let Little WY latch on. This little fellow had seemed to be perpetually hungry and would suckle away so ferociously that I felt pain! Ah!!!!

Then there was also Mother (and Father) who kept insisting that Little WY was crying because he was hungry and so I should let him have formula milk etc etc. Aiyoh, I felt so helpless and so confused by all those well-meaning advice.

It was absolutely overwhelming... and I started to become teary a bit. That's when everybody got a little worried, and eased off the unintended pressure a little.

Both Father and Mother came to fetch R, Little WY and myself home on our discharge. I remember that the air smelt different and it felt like I had been away for a long, long time.

Being home was good but not easy. R and I thought that we had been well-prepared to receive Little WY but the truth was that when we returned with him, nothing seemed to be in place! We had planned to breastfeed Little WY full-time, and so we hadn't gotten any milk bottles ready. Neither did we prepare any formula milk powder. Nor was there any pot for sterilising the milk bottles. Nor any tongs for picking the boiled bottles out after they had been sterilised.

So as I tried to settle down with Little WY, R dashed out to get all those provisions. I remember looking out from our kitchen window (Blk 47 then) and spotting R marching on the pavement with his hands full of so many bags of provisions and with a mattress slinged over his shoulders. So poor thing.

R was my defacto confinement maid. He did the washing and all the chores. Mother cooked for us and during the day, arranged for YP's maid to bring the tingkat over to our place. In the evening, either Mother or CP would come over with dinner.

My job was mostly only to rest and deal with Little WY. But I didn't do a very good job. Not only did I end up with sore nipples because breastfeeding wasn't 'properly done', I also caused Little WY's buttocks to become red and painful because I had been too diligent cleaning his buttocks when changing his diapers! I felt especially awful and 'useless' when Mother and R had to bring the poor crying Little WY to the paediatrician when he was barely 2 weeks old because of this.

It was a tough time for confinement for us because we had to keep our windows shut all day long due to the worsening haze then. At one point, the PSI exceeded the 'normal' range. We had to rely on our poor LG airconditioner to keep the pungent smoky-ness out.

I remember that initially, R and I diligently kept a log of what time Little WY had been fed, how much he had drunk, what time he had pooed and passed urine etc etc. After a few days, we gave up and just went by instinct. Too much theory or recording doesn't help.

R took a good 3-week break from office work to stay home with me. This is not very common, especially in 'those days' because there wasn't even the 3-day paternal leave new fathers nowdays enjoy. The massage-lady kept telling me that she was very impressed with R's 'sacrifice'.

On the 1st day that R returned to office (and I was left with Little WY alone during the day), I was a little apprehensive. I kept hoping that the day would go by as quickly as possible, and that R and Mother or CP would be back quickly. Fortunately, apart from being a big-eater and getting hungry very easily, Little WY was a relatively 'easy' baby.

WY's One-Month Celebration was a big affair. A total of 1000 AngNgees (aka 'pointed AngKuKueh') were ordered and delivered and distributed (mainly to colleagues who had loaded us with tonnes of good wishes and generous angpows). Mother also helped to prepare 600 red eggs and 6 big trays of glutinous rice. She also ordered several roast chickens for AhYee and some 'relatives' who didn't visit or even ask after us.

The 满月gifts which we had to bring to my office for distribution was such a mountainous load that my colleagues had to go to meet us at the carpark with the office goods trolley! It was incredible..... My colleague N thinks that even today, I still hold the 'record' for the amount of 满月 gifts distributed for colleagues in our office. Hahahha...

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Last Saturday, we didn't have to get my colleagues to get the trolley to the carpark. Instead, CP and I brought the goodies to the cafeteria at my office.

There weren't any red eggs or AngNgees, but food was aplenty nevertheless.

Check out the next post for an account of what fun we had and what we celebrated.