Being In The System

Many times, I have heard this asked incredulously: "You all really so busy, meh?"

Of course, my very instant, impromptu response has always been: "Yes. Really that busy."

When this question popped up again recently albeit in one of its many variation-forms, I pondered. Then, I came to the same answer: "Yes, Really that busy.".

Perhaps, for someone who is no longer in the system and who has been living in a totally separate world for more than a decade now, it is probably inconceivable that there is no time to even sit down to dial a number and say a simple 'hello' over the cable. The fact that this seems to be the case for all of the various different sub-sets of family members makes it look even more suspicious - as if we all here try very hard to avoid contact.

Actually, I don't think we owe anyone any explanation. Nor do we need to try so hard to convince anyone that we are really very 'helpless' about the apparent passiveness in keeping touch. But still, I will try to describe my typical day. Maybe, just maybe, this can help shed that teeny weeny little bit of light and help mitigate the incredulity?

5:30am - I rise and deal with kitchen chores, prepare breakfast etc.

6:15am - I wake R and WY, who rise for breakfast and showers.

7:00am - R and WY leave for school. I deal with dishes, laundry, getting bags ready for WF etc. Occasionally, I steal 3-5 minutes to water plants and check if they are ok.

Between 7:30am to 8:00am - R returns, wakes WF and gets him ready for school. I take my shower.

On average, 8:15am - R, WF and I leave for CH School, followed by us dashing for office. ETA office? Anything from 8:45am to 9:30am (imagine our daily scramble).

Between 8:30am and 6:15pm - official office hours, sometimes lengthened by up to half hour because of last-minute 'problems' etc.

About 7:00pm - Manoeuvering with much frustration along roads jam-packed with equally rushy motorists. Sometimes, being the non-driver passenger, I can get heart-attacks from the frequent sudden brakes and nausea from the incessant filtering-in-and-out of lanes. Driver's driving gets worse (or better, depending on your perspective) by the day.

On average, 7:15pm - R and I pick WF (and WY) up from CH School.

Between 7:30pm and 8:15pm - Unpacking of bags, washing of water bottles, lunch boxes etc. WY takes his shower and WF his bath. Occasionally, R and/or I get to have our shower too. Most times, though, we join WY and WF for dinner first.

On average, 9:00pm - Dinner is finished. Between R and I, we wash the dishes (plus the multiple pots M has used for cooking our dinner), sort out laundry for wash, start the washing machine. Then we take our showers. Sometimes, WF needs to be washed because he goes to the toilet at around this time. During this time, WY and WF get to rest - they either play their toys or watch some TV. M sometimes serves them their fruits at this time, too.

On a 'good day', 9:30pm - WY starts his piano practice whilst I go through his completed work. If WY needs help in one or more questions, he clarifies at this time and completes this outstanding part. If there is mistake spotted in the completed work, WY corrects them after the corrections are explained to him. Whilst this fight-fire goes on, WF starts on his work, supervised by either R or myself. WF needs to be prompted and 'pushed' along because he tends to try to avoid doing anything more than the minimum.

On average, 10:45pm - end of work time for WY and WF. WF has his milk. WY and WF brush their teeth, wash up and prepares for bed. WY is usually 'shooed' to bed quite quickly after the clock strikes 11. WF gets to enjoy some reading/storytime with R or me before lights-off.

On average, 12:00 midnight - R and I go to bed. Sometimes, we stay up just a little while more so that we can hang the laundry and scrub the soap off the toilet floor. R is sometimes also kept away from sleep by his office work.

So, when and how to make that call??

Weekends?.............. Weekends are another story. Even more incredible. I won't try to add to the scare by setting out here our typical Saturday and Sunday schedules, but trust me - it is no easier than what you have just read.

Yes, I know you will feel very 'fortunate' in not being in the system anymore. But we are past the stage of complaining about the system. It is..... how shall I put it?

人在江湖，身不由己。

It is definitely easy to claim that it is all 'up to you'. But is it?