今年,我们破例,让 WY 和 WF 一起到元明寺祭拜 GF。
这几年来,我自己也很少参与祭拜活动。 通常,Mother、C2 和 AhYee 都是一齐到蔡厝港的坟场祭拜 GF。 我们这一代,多半都没跟着去。
可是,今年却不一样。 因为,当 Mother 问 C2 和 AhYee 要不要去祭拜 GF 的时候,他们每一个人都一口挽拒了。C2 说他们不想去,AhYee 说“活人我们都不再想去探望了,跟何况是拜祭死人!”
最后,我们见 Mother 苦恼万分,每天都念着说, 死人若是没有后人来祭拜, 也会受到其他的死人的取笑、让它们看遍、看不起, 跟活人的世界,没有两样! 所以,一连几天我们听了这一番话, 也明白 Mother 的想法, 最后就‘自告奋勇’地说我们开车送她去元明寺祭拜吧。
因为 WY 在学校里听说了 “清明节”这个节日, 也想去看一看,这个节日,到底是怎么一回事、人们是怎样庆祝的。
在我和 Mother 左思右想后,我们终于决定让 WY 和 WF 这两个小瓜,体会一下祭拜祖先的活动。
星期日,我们到文化艺术团上完了课,就回到 PLW 载 Mother 到元明寺去。我们提了 Mother 几天前就准备好了的祭品,还有我临时买的祭品 (有金饰、手表、眼镜等等,还有好几种冥票),开车来到了坐落在 Upper East Coast Road 的寺庙。
原来,元明寺已经经过大翻新了。现在,公德堂已设在二楼。公德堂的布置,仍然很朴素; 环境还算清幽。 现在,来祭拜先人的人,都只能烧一种像蚊薰的香,不再用传统一支一支的文香了。
我让 WY 点了两片香,然后再把 Mother 带来的水果摆放好。我们也带来了一包茶叶,也把它放在水果的旁边。除了这些,Mother 也准备了一个发糕和一些不同的糕点。 跟往年比起来,祭品真的是简朴了许多,气氛也淡化了许多。
我们跟着向 GF ‘拜拜’了一下,就到内堂去看一看 GF 的灵位牌匾。Mother 很快地就指出GF 牌匾的位置:第20排,第3层。我看,这也是 WY 第一次亲眼瞧见灵位牌匾的模样。
趁 Mother 正在对 GF 诉说为什么今年只有她单枪匹马来祭拜 GF 时,我就跟 WY 简单地说一说公德堂是让先人的灵魂安息的地方,牌匾是灵魂的一个代表、一种像征等等。 我想,这一些比我们这一代还更年轻的后辈,也应该开始认识一下这些‘知识’了吧。
再 'bua-buay' 之后,Mother 便带领 R 和 WY 到一楼烧冥纸的地方,把三包祭品点燃了,‘烧给’GF。 WF也好奇地问道,为什么要点燃这些祭品? 哎,这个小瓜还小,等他长大些,才解释吧。
过了一会儿,Mother 教 WY 怎样把水果收好,再用 'bua-buay' 的方法,向 GF 辞别一番。然后,我们就到佛庙的正堂,简单地恭拜一下,才离开。
我们到 Kallang 的麦当劳吃汉堡包,还让 WY 帮大家买了雪糕。WY 和 WF 都吃得不亦乐乎!
在回家的路途中,我心里一直想,这样的‘三代同堂’的祭拜活动(即使是从简的),其实也是很难得、瞒有意义的。 或许,我们应该安排一下,明年的清明节,大伙儿一起再跟 Mother 一起去祭拜吧?
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3 comments:
It is not so easy for me to read all those chinese writing. Purposely one ah?
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Anyway, I am the least qualified to say this but it somehow still strike me as weird or strange that not many people want to go and "visit" GF.
To the living people who believe otherwise, it is only humane and polite that M has the fullest support to fulfill her filian piety to visit her father long gone. These other siblings who say no, are simply too heartless, and perhaps too busy.
My advice to M, when I talked to her, was that she should just do it herself, DON'T rely on anyone.
Plus, she should not "broadcast" her deeds or her "wishes", since the other C's will look at that, in that light.
So for the people who are less than 100% willing to accompany M and perhaps "waste" some of their living time, visiting the dead, remembering them, what kind of religion are they following?
It is so sad.
When they die, will people visit THEM?
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"自告奋勇..."?
I wonder (of course many will say I should shut up, since I am away), if I were in Singapore, would I hesitate to do this FOR our mother, if she asked me?
Yes the dead may not know it, the dead neighbours in the cemetery are imaginary. But our Mother's feelings are real, why do we hesitate to help her? Hmm.
I strongly believe that I will do so, without any thinking at all. But then again, I am not in this position to say so. I am away, 9000km away.
SO, here is my thank-you to LP and R, who did these things for M. When it should have been me.
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坟场 和 祭拜
I would bring J and even S, to the cemetary and temple as early as logistically possible.
My thinking may be a little different from others. I would take this chance to tell them about being dead and being remembered. Of course la, this is purely theoretical now, but I still believe I will do that, given the chance.
Children should be educated at all levels, I think. We should not shield them too much, from the facts of 生老病死 lifecycle.
Am I too ambitious?
Anyway, thanks again, for blogging about these things, which otherwise I will be totally ignorant about.
No part of the posting is 'accidental' in that I had to think, compose and then punch in the chinese characters one lah. But not meant to make it more difficult for anyone to read lah.
I 'english'-educated one, but bilingual. Very rusty now, so must start practising again, mah. :)
Btw - Mother did mention that YP also offered to bring her to the Choa Chu Kang cemetery for prayers, but it was Mother who declined. Thought I should mention this in case got any misunderstanding.
ah ya ....I still can't view in Chinese characters....not sure how to do it.
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